100 Letters

A four panel comic of his perspective. I truly wonder how he is doing, but this piece of art was based of the song "100 Letter" by Halsey. When I first heard this song, I was going such a rough time as I had recently broken up with my boyfriend.

We were such good friends... We really were; even though we didn't know each other for long, it was like we clicked.

Unfortunately, when you move things up a level, going back down isn't quite the same.

Not only that, I was a terrible girlfriend.

I never really understood him no matter how much I tried. His perpetual, bland emotions and lack of expression killed me by putting me in a state of fear or constant search for validation. When we did break up, I was swallowed in so much guilt because it was me who broke things up, I couldn't bear to see him upset every time he was with me.

I wrote him quite a few letters - not 100 of course! However, they were very long letters with 3 or 4 pages. Therefore, when I heard this song on the college bus, I though:

"Would he be reminded of me when he sees the letters again?"

The 3rd panel of the comic shows what seems like flowers. These are in fact origami lilies that I had spent hours making for him when we were dating.

All these memoirs that I gave him - would he think of me when he sees them? And how would he feel? Would he feel a sense of guilt? We hadn't cut things off nicely so perhaps he disposed them like he disposed our relationship. After all, he had moved on very fast, yet I'm still here. Additionally, the real lyrics wrote "19" but I reversed the 9 as a 6 because this love occurred when we were both 16.

All these thoughts were bugging me, so I decided to illustrate this comic in his perspective. I know he wouldn't hug a laundromat machine (ahaha) but I certainly know that he would try and wash away whatever feelings he had left for me and start clean elsewhere. As a result, my illustrations are the only ties I cling onto of him, I wonder, would things be different if I didn't fall for him?

Perhaps so... Maybe I'll never know. But I don't regret meeting him.

I wish him the best.

Thank you, dear friend. It's about time I moved on.