"I'm sorry I smothered you..."

"My bones have found a place to lie down and sleep, Where all my layers can become reeds, All my limbs can become trees."

- Smothered : DAUGHTER

This piece of artwork was actually first sketched back in November 2017, but I had only managed to complete the inking in February 2018. The artwork is approximately the size of A4 but I tend to guillotine off a few blank edges so the page looks more busy.

The theme of this piece is about sacrificing yourself just to keep in touch with somebody else. Similar to the "100 letters" lyric comic, this piece was related to my relationships with friends and lovers. I am a person who adores sending letters but they are unfortunately quite time consuming. Some are worth sending, but some, I know, won't be opened by the person send them to, but rather, someone else will open them. This "someone else" will share the same name as the recipient, but they themselves will not be the same person who I intend the letter is for. Usually it's because people change over time... but this artwork is inspired by the emotions of envy.

In this piece, the female is a mythic creature with limbs of bark. Here, she is completely chopped in half and in place of a stomach, it is filled with unopened letters. Similar to the idea of trees being sacrificed for paper, a physical part of the female has been sacrificed to make these letters for her significant other.

Yet, the person who these letters are written for, they aren't opening them.

No matter how many letters are posted, that friend is long gone. The person reading these letters were simply just reminiscent versions of somebody they use to be. Every letter sent is like a piece of that person is being gifted to somebody else, but the person receiving these letters on the other side, these personal trinkets become wasted. In conclusion, this self sacrifice is futile.

Ultimately, the thought of the wrong person opening these letters leaves the creature in much dismay. She struggles to stand up but in the end, the creature is demoted to nothing but forgotten reeds and trees.

The horns coming from her head are also branches, but they are slightly different to the other branches found inside her limbs; these branches are black because they spout from her head.

I have a massive thing for horns and a lot of my artwork pieces contains horns simply because it's an aesthetic. However, the darker meaning of horns, I believe, is that they represent the ugly truth or a darker side of a person. When people say "your horns are showing" they mean that you are exposing your true intentions or your darker side/lack of grace is manifesting. Here, the darker side is not devilish or mischievous, but rather is a darker side of self corruption. The creature knows that they are physically (and mentally) harming herself by sending these pointless letters, but she continues to do it anyway as she is that desperate for their lover to reply back. Suddenly in a different light, these letters become reoccurring annoyances, perpetual harassment and forceful reminders that you "will not forget me".

In the end one would call this action as toxic.

The toxicity sprouts from the head of the creature and into something visible for all to see. The branches also make the head heavy, which is likewise when bad thoughts enter someones head.

Regrettably, this concept is more of an experience down memory-lane than it is just pure imagination. I have had complaints where my own self validation has gotten abhorrently toxic. To give so much and to sacrifice so much for yourself for somebody you use to know makes everything all the more harder to let go. Therefore, I have terrible attachment issues when I invest too much in relationships. Leading on, this leaves us with the quote of the artwork.

I love listening to music when I illustrate, and I'm sure many other artists agree with me - therefore I like to listen to songs that sets the atmospheric mood. "Daughter" is an artist who creates wonderful yet melancholic masterpieces. This quote is from the song "Smother" which reflects the attitude of the piece painfully well.

With clouds of foggy ink coming from the creature, the love and affection in these letters smother the recipient by overwhelming them. Perhaps that is why they refuse to open them...

And so, the creature is in too deep with their relationship alike the roots that grounds a tree; the deeper her love tunnels down in the Earth, the harder it is to stand up and walk away.

Completed Version